I hit the floor with a resounding thud. My eyes locking onto the clock straight ahead, 6:45 am. God, its too early to be awake right now. I close my eyes in refusal but since sleep didn’t appear to be returning I begin gathering myself for an extremely early start to the day. Wiggling free from my cocoon and bring myself to my feet. Yuck, I definitely fell asleep in my pants last night. Patting them down I notice the dried vomit on them.

Oh no, I think to myself as I flip on the lamp next to the futon and check over my comforter. Thank god, no vomit, but good grief am I pushing my luck.

A shiver runs up my spine recalling last night’s dream and how real it felt. Obviously the vomiting was but surely the rest of it couldn’t... Well, lets just hope for the best. A realization then dawns upon me and I’m looking from one end of the room to the other and then rather reluctantly down to the lamp. I can be a real idiot sometimes, I think to myself.

Looking around the room again I survey my futon, coffee table, and two laundry baskets containing all of my cloths. If I hadn’t stolen them from my mother’s house the day I stopped in I’d be living out of garbage bags. I’d look like some homeless person squatting. 

The thought brings a smile to my face as I dig through the baskets for something decent to wear.

Not really caring what I change into, I just grab at the first thing that surfaces. A pair of basketball shorts and a white t. Knowing I’m in short supply of socks I just grab the pair I threw on the floor last night. Not too crusty, good.

I wonder if Money put some of what he still owes us in the account today. He’s only two weeks behind but who’s counting right? I grab my towel and head out into the hallway.

The air tunnel is still running at full blast but now I’m capable of understanding what was all going on. One end of the hallway has a window with a box fan facing in. Directly behind me are my bedroom windows which are slightly creaked open. Dang science.

Turning back to the hallway I see Tye Lancaster exiting the bathroom. He’s holding a bucket and looks rather suspicious. Turning towards me he straightens himself out and marches into his room looking straight ahead unwilling to acknowledge my existence. Well this is highly amusing, then it hits me.

Oh my god! If he cleaned it all thinking he did it then I don’t know what... I’ll cry of joy?

I walk through the hallway at breakneck speed slowing down slightly to glance into Tye’s room. He’s laying on his king size bed mattress on the floor staring off into space. I’m about to continue when something stops me in my tracks. It’s an unbearable urge. Leaning back I poke my head into his room and call out very nonchalantly “Man last night I drank so much I thought for sure I was going to puke everywhere.”

Peering out of the corners of my eyes I can tell Tye’s plan is to ignore me, better up the ante, “By the way, next time try and get it into the toilet. Mr. Apex Awesome guy.” I can see Tye stiffen a bit, yeah I know you were in the bathroom and vomit was everywhere. 

You just don’t know I set you up, you cleaned my mess and now I’m going to blackmail you with it.

I’m on cloud nine, this is too perfect. Still no response, well whatever I’m going to go shower in my clean bathroom and rid myself of the evidence still plastered all over my body.

The door opens and sure enough the room is sparkling clean. Probably cleaner than it was when we moved in yesterday morning.

Its not surprising, Tye has “cover up” broken down into a science. Many a time we’ve had to fix his father’s mess before anyone could notice. It was like a daily routine, his father would screw something up and we’d be sent in.

The day his father thought it would be hilarious to get a lion totally blitzed comes to mind. Truly, nothing good ever comes from anything originating from Money Lancaster.

I Place my clothes onto the toilet seat and proceed to the shower. Apparently the shower curtain was salvageable. I must have just pulled the whole tension rod down with me last night.

Nonchalantly I throw my hand under the spray to check if the steaming water is hot. Mistake. An ever so slight third degree burn on my right hand is all I need to discern as much. Quickly I maneuvering my left hand around the spray and turn the heat down to a more manageable level. Locking the bathroom door and stripping down to my birthday suit is all the time it takes for the temperature to subside.

Standing in the shower reconfirms my initial opinion of it. Not very impressive. Just your run of the mill fiberglass shower but it’s not like we needed anything special. After all its just me and Tye up here. Locke and Brent shared the one down stairs and for good reason.

I say that because this showering unit would definitely be way to cramp for Brent. I mean the man stands 7’ and probably weighs closer to the three hundred pound mark than he’ll admit. The reason we got this apartment  is because all the ceilings on the first floor are vaulted giving the giant some breathing room.

Since me and Tye don’t clock out at any more than five-ten it just seemed reasonable for us to live upstairs. Not to say Locke was any taller, probably being about six foot, but he seemed set on living on the first floor away from either of us. Can’t say I don’t know why...

“Corin! Think fast!” Is the first and only warning I get that someone else has snuck into the bathroom.

Turning to see the intruder I’m hit in the face by a bunch of what could only be wet rags. This catches me off guard and off balance and I’m flailing trying to grab onto the fiberglass sidings for support but my hands are covered in soup and I’m falling like a bag of bricks.

 I hit the ground, I think, I don’t know though because everything is dark with the rags on my face and I’m out as soon as it happens. All I do know is I wake up to the ice cold spray of water.

“Ahhhh!” I scream as I scramble out of the shower and onto the bathroom floor. “Thats so effin cold!” My whole body is shivering, I think I might have hypothermia!

Damn how long was I lying there in the cold shower? My teeth are rattling as I’m rubbing my arms, “I’ll kill him.” Is all that I can think and then I look down by my feet at one of the rags. I can see chunks of something on a bit that hadn’t gotten soaked while in the shower. It’s one of the one’s he used to clean everything up this morning.

Death, is the first word then I add more trying to construct a simple and honest statement. Death, Tye is a dead man. I have to think this loudly because my teeth are chattering and my whole body is still convulsing with the shivers.

I could have died that idiot. He didn’t so much as make sure I was okay. He probably just barged in here, threw the rags over the shower hanger, screamed whatever it is he screamed and then ran off somewhere.

Dammit I’m so freaking cold! Wrapping my arms around my stomach causes something in my mind to click and I’m on my feet and standing in front of the medicine cabinet in milliseconds. As good luck goes at least I’m beautiful... “Ahhhhhhh!”

I scream so loud and so long my vocal cords hurt, my face turns purple, and my legs crumble sending me to my backside on the bathroom floor. I sit there in defeat, helpless defeat to whatever the hell is going on.

I can’t help but look down at this body in complete what the fuckery.

With my arms still clamped around my stomach I raise them upwards catching the two mounds now resting on them.. and... and... they’re real.

That’s it, I’ve finally gone bat shit crazy. I guess I had good reason to worry about eating food in Kabwe, the lead must have finally hit my brain. 

Falling backwards onto the floor I just lay there as naked as the day... No I was naked in the shower when I still had my balls. Right now I am by far the most naked I’ve ever been in my life.

This feeling of being super duper extra naked leaves me feeling extremely uncomfortable. So I reach out blindly to the toilet where I find a note and not my cloths. I bring the note before my eyes and read it with a fire that threatens to incinerate the message.

“Gone fishin’, thanks for the cloths. Catch ya l8er loser! <3 Apex Alpha.”

Kill, is the only thing rolling in my mind right now. Kill him dead!

Blindly I Pick myself off the floor. For my vision has turned completely white. I can only see the many horrible ways I can snap Tye’s neck with my bare hands. But with the haze subsiding my eyes catch what apparently is now my own reflection in the mirror. I’m instantly a tomato red having forgotten just how naked with no clothing on I was, and some distance from my room too... Oh yeah, and I’m her again.

If I think objectively this person isn’t me so maybe I can just march through the hallway without shame. 

Of course, the mere thought has my stomach in pain. Its one of my many weaknesses. You see I physically can’t handle an embarrassing situation whether it be me or me watching someone else. And, as of right now with this surreal third person first person split job I feel like I’m getting both all at once. Exhilarating to be sure... Catch the Sarcasm?

So standing there looking for something to cover my privates it hits me. He wants you to use the rags? I bet thats what Tye was playing towards. Force Corin to cover up with vomit covered rags and make him walk down the hallway back to his room.

I decide to go lock the bathroom door because I don’t need any more visitors right now. However when I turn the bolt handle the things still locked. It’s been locked this whole time. How the hell did he get in here then? Turning, I look around for any other way in but all there is is a solid window that doesn’t come open. I still go to investigate maybe it can swing open or something.

I fool around with it for a couple of minutes before feeling satisfied that it doesn’t open. It occurs to me that maybe he locked the door on his way out but that doesn’t make any sense seeing a how it’s a dead bolt above the door knob. Something you’d have to lock from the inside. This place is ancient.

A groan of frustration escapes me as I yet again allow myself to fall back onto my backside. Leaning back against the wall I bang my head in frustration against it.

After a couple of thuds I realize how hollow they ring…

Turning to look closer is when it dawns on me that this is no wall at all. I fiddle around with it till alas the thing swings open revealing a dark, somewhat damp, passageway. “We’ll I’ll be damned” I mutter to myself.

Normally I’m not that finicky going off into a dark and ancient hidden passageway. Normally I have shoes on.

Somehow being more naked than the day I was born leaves me feeling a bit, well, vulnerable.

A few feet in and it becomes absolutely pitch black. Walking with my hands reaching out for every stud I eventually make it to what feels like a wooden door. Pushing it open I find myself in an empty closet. With just a slit I peer out and spot Tye Lancaster Laying on a single mattress that constitutes his bed.

If I weren’t a female right now I’d jump into his room and kill him on the spot.

If I wasn’t female I’d put on display the challenge of combating a naked person out for blood. It’s an interesting study in social construct, the man may be wielding a battle axe the size of a small volkswagen but by god if his junk rubs up on me I’ma lose my composure.

Sadly, however, unlike young Tye Lancaster I know how to pick and choose my battles. This passageway is no longer a secret to me and I’ll make good use of it yet.

I slowly sneak back into the passageway closing the wooden door quietly behind me. Proceeding onward gets me back into my room, two doors down from Tye’s at the end of the hallway. Sort of makes sense if you think about it, my room is at the other end of the house after all. I immediately grab the first t-shirt in sight and jump underneath my comforter.

In any other instance I would be debating how I was going to get back at Tye but there is a considerably more problematic matter at hand. To be honest each time its happened so far I’ve been too shocked or in the midst of such an absolute shit show I hadn't had time to properly think upon the matter.

I mean if properly thinking is even possible for something that is absolutely impossible. Pulling the comforter over my head I look back down at my lower body to investigate. It takes a single exploratory grasp to confirm that these tits are tits but I’m a bit more hesitant to check down there.

I mean I’m no idiot I already know the usual equipment is missing but I just am not willing to accept or comprehend the replacement parts. Like maybe if I chose to ignore it I might just come out of my episode of crazy.

Poking my head back out of the comforter I stare at the prescription bottle, Lithium. I shift in place, maybe I should take some... 

I know thats not possible either, it’s all gone. It’s been gone for the last two maybe even three years. Besides, I never needed it anyway.

I don’t know though, right now, since I’m pretty sure I’m changing into someone else. I might just be in need of some. It suddenly dawns on me that I might need a second opinion but I don’t want anyone else to know. 

Trying to think of someone close enough who can keep a secret leaves me drawing a blank. You’ve seen how me and Tye are and we’re not going to keep this sort of thing between the two of us.

Locke and Brent are mostly the same although Brent doesn’t talk much. Well obviously he doesn’t since he’s a mute but somehow he still seems to have one of the biggest mouths out of the four of us. No, I can’t let Brent know either. I guess that just leaves...

Ursa Minor rings out from the corner of my room. I jump to my feet and run over to the vibrating cell phone, sliding the answer button. “Hello?” I call into it.

“Hello? Uhm, is Corin there?” The voice asks me.

“Speaking.” I say without thinking.

“Corin? Why do you sound so much like a girl?” The person responds. Oh crap thats right, I don’t sound the same while I’m like this. Shit, recovery recovery.

“Who is this?” I muster with a demanding tone. smooth.

“Look I’m Corin’s sister, Gwen, and I don’t know who you are but you don’t need to get a bitch attitude with me okay? I just need to talk to my brother about something really important so can you please put him on the phone.” She demands with what I imagine to be her feral claws out and ready to pounce. 

I’m not used to hearing this side of Gwen, actually she just said she’s my sister. I mean it’s kind of the truth, her dad is married to my mom but thats about as close as we get blood wise.

It actually came as a big surprise to me when I came back, the wedding that is. They had apparently tied the knot while I was away. Since I hadn’t been keeping in any sort of touch with mom I first found out my initial night back. 

Mom claims it took her six years to get over my father’s passing, but get past it she did. I don’t hate her for it because I understand the hole he left behind. It’s not something you can let stay unfilled and still expect to function properly.

Me and Gwen actually go way back to grade school. I always had a little bit of a thing for her but I never acted on it. I’m not one to go chasing after girls. An even sadder fact that none seem to wanna chase after me either.

To top it all off I like Gwen’s dad. He taught me how to throw a curveball, and how to clean a deep wound. Also how to properly use a scalpel, stitch that wound back together, and showed me the different parts of a human brain using a real human brain.

Actually Gwen’s dad is a pretty awesome guy and he seemingly takes good care of my mother. Thats all I could ask seeing as I pretty much abandoned her two years ago. Man I think I’m a terrible son...

“Hello? Hello!?” Sigh, well was a terrible son. I don’t even know who I am now. “Hello!?”

Oh crap Gwen’s still on the phone. “Gwen, its me I’m not feeling well what do you want?” I shoot back with the most authoritative voice I could muster.

“Not feeling well?.. Look I don’t know who you are but Corin wouldn’t be messing with some dumb hoochy. Tell him I’m already by his place and I’ll be there in a minute.”

This revelation takes the breath out of me and before I have the chance to respond I hear a click. “Crap. Crap. Crap.... Craaaaap!!!!”

I’m now running from one end of the room to the other. I mean, what the hell am I going to do, if she gets here and sees me like this she’s not even going to believe its me. And even worse if she does believe it’s me she’ll tell mom. I have to do something, I have to get out of here. 

Its obvious, the best Course of action is to evade. Evade, evade, evade.

Grabbing the first articles of clothing to surface on my basket leaves me with mismatching teal shorts and a button up multi colored shirt.

Whatever, I don’t even care right now.

Phone in one hand I race for the exit jumping out of my room and through the hallway. Throwing the stairway door open I take eight steps at a time two jumps and I’m crashing into another closed door at the bottom.

Crap that hurts, but there’s no time for pain just turn the doorknob and run. Opening the door sends me sprawling into the hallway’s adjacent wall. I’m a heap, laying on my shoulders, back rolling up the wall, legs hanging over my head. I blush at the space between my shorts and what it’s not hiding, so much for blissful ignorance.

I spin instantly onto my fingers and toes and scurry down the hallway like some sort of rodent. The sound of living beings behind the door to my left freezes me. I stay still for a moment listening intently to figure out if it’s noticed me or not....

There’s a knock on the door and the living thing behind door number one begins to rustle. I’m out of time. I’m going to have to use the back door for my escape. Jumping to my feet and quite literally leaping into the living room and then the kitchen. There I freeze, not having been noticed yet by the giant sitting at the table, eating cereal while reading the paper.

Walking on my tiptoes I begin moving ever so slowly towards the back door. I make it to the fridge which is tauntingly close when I hear the grumbling from Brent. He starts to pull the paper down so I open the fridge and throw the milk jug at him. The thing explodes on contact and I’m out the back door Scott free, right into Gwen...

We catch each other in mid flight. Me down the stairs her apparently jumping up the first two. We crash to the earth like some sort of world war two bomber. The funny thing is I still manage to maneuver myself below her taking almost all of the impact. It sucks but even if I’m a girl I’m still programed to be a gentleman. That’s about where it ends though.

“Damnit Gwen, you’re supposed to be at the front door!” I yell at her my annoyance with life at an all time high. I mean it’s my fault but I’m not looking to take blame for anything life throws me into right now.

 “What!? You jumped into me and who the hell are YOU anyways?” She screams back at me and I know I should be careful. If there’s anything I’ve learned it’s that Gwen when on a warpath can really pull her own punches. Since its not in my nature to hit a girl back I’ll really be in some kind of bind. Then her question registers, who the hell am I? Why I’m Corin Orion your step brother don’t you recognize me?

 “You don’t recognize me?” I say as humbly as possible. Gwen looks me up and down completely puzzled. Then I catch her eyes going between my legs which I so awesomely forgot to close. Her eyes close and I can see the vein above her temple twitching.

 “No, am I supposed too?” She says in a calm before the storm sort of voice. Shit, I’m definitely losing her. That’s when her eyes narrow onto something on my chest, I’m still trying to gather what it is she might be trying to make out when I look down and see it in her hand. A simple golden band on my necklace.

I’d forgotten it was even there, that it even existed. The back door begins to open and looking back a milk drenched giant appears. Gwen’s attention shifts for a moment and in that moment I’ve pull the necklace back into my hand, jump to my feet and flee the crime scene.

Thankfully the cogs in my brain start to turn again as I yell back, “Corin went out for a run he’ll be back later!” I leave the two dumbstruck behind me. Hell I’m dumbstruck too and yet I’m still able to run, so point awarded to me.

Obstacle Four. Door